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Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers
Started May 25, 2005 @ 11:53pm by otter
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otter
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| Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers | May 25, 2005 @ 11:53pm | 20. Can't stick their heads out of Windows XP
19. Fetch command not available on all platforms
18. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side
17. Too difficult to "mark" every web site they visit
16. Can't help attacking the screen when the hear "you've got mail"
15. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing "www.pethouse.com" instead of working.
13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG Frisbee
12. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon screen saver.
11. Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail wagging.
10. Oh, but they WILL...with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
8. 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...
7. Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
6. SmellU-SmellME still in beta test.
5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
4. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver
3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures, master's.leg
2. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.
and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers
1. Tr) {g) DsA [M,bN HyAqR4tDc Tgr)o TgYPmE WeljTyHP;AzWqs,..(Too Damn Hard to Type with Paws) |
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